Talking About Addiction
How to Talk to Your Loved Ones About Starting Therapy for Substance Use
Starting therapy for substance use is a brave decision. But once you’ve made that choice, you might find yourself facing another emotional hurdle: how to tell the people closest to you.
Whether you're worried about judgment, misunderstandings, or just not knowing the right words, talking to loved ones about therapy can be overwhelming. But it can also open the door to deeper support, better communication, and a stronger foundation for your recovery.
Here’s how to approach this important conversation with care, honesty, and self-respect.
1. Know that you don’t owe a performance
You don’t need to have a perfect, polished explanation ready. This isn’t about convincing anyone, it’s about sharing a part of your life that matters to you. It’s okay to feel unsure or emotional as you talk. The important thing is that you’re being honest about where you’re at.
Before the conversation, you might want to reflect on your intention of sharing in the first place. Are you hoping for support? Wanting to explain recent changes? Trying to build accountability? Understanding your own intention can guide how you frame the conversation.
2. Decide who you’re ready to tell
Not everyone in your life needs to know about your therapy right away, or ever. Think about who has earned your trust and who has the emotional capacity to respond with compassion.
If someone tends to be critical or dismissive, you’re not obligated to share this part of your life with them. Choose the people who will respect your process, even if they don’t fully understand it yet.
You might start with just one trusted person. Sometimes, saying it out loud once makes it easier to say it again later.
3. Use language that feels right for you
You don’t have to use clinical terms or go into detail if you’re not ready. It’s enough to say something like:
“I’ve started seeing a therapist to work on some things, including how I use substances.”
“I’ve been struggling more than I’ve let on, and I decided to get some help.”
“This is a big step for me. I don’t have all the answers, but I’m trying.”
Speak in your own voice. Avoid over explaining or justifying. Therapy is a personal choice, not anyone else’s for you to defend.
4. Prepare for a range of reactions
Even people who love us can react in unexpected ways. Some may be fully supportive and ask how they can help. Others might get quiet or say the wrong thing. Know that it’s okay.
If a loved one is unsure how to respond, it’s often because they don’t know what you need from them. Be as clear as you can. Here are some recommendations:
“I’m not asking for advice—I just wanted you to know what’s going on.”
“If you’re open to it, I’d love your support while I do this.”
“I’m not looking to rehash the past—I’m focused on getting better.”
Remind yourself that their reaction is about them, not about the worth or validity of your decision.
5. Let it be ongoing
This conversation doesn’t need to cover everything. You don’t have to explain your entire history or answer every question right away. Think of it as the beginning of a longer process of honesty and healing.
As you continue in therapy, you might feel more comfortable sharing insights or struggles with the people in your life. You might even find that your openness gives others permission to reflect on their own wellbeing too.
6. Give yourself credit and practice self-compassion
If you’ve made it to the point of telling someone you’re in therapy for substance use, you’ve already shown enormous courage. That conversation is a big deal and it deserves to be acknowledged.
Many people live in silence with their struggles because they’re afraid of what others will think. You choosing to speak up, even to one person, breaks that pattern. It’s a quiet act of resistance, of healing, and of self-love.
Takeaways
Telling your loved ones that you’re starting therapy for substance use isn’t just about information—it’s about connection. It’s a chance to let others in, to begin building a support system that sees the whole you—not just the pain, but the effort, the hope, the commitment.
There’s no “right” way to do it. Just your way.
And no matter how the conversation goes, know this: You are doing something powerful. You are choosing to show up for yourself. That matters more than anything else.