Support for OCD

From Awareness to Action: How to Support a Loved One with OCD

OCD Awareness Week is about shining a light on a disorder that is too often misunderstood, even by those close to individuals struggling. But awareness alone isn’t always enough. If you have a loved one living with OCD, you may already know that the real challenge is understanding how to support them in meaningful, practical ways. Watching someone you love and care for struggle against OCD is difficult, and feeling helpless makes it feel like an uphill battle. That’s what this post is all about, gently moving with awareness towards action.

You might ask: “Where do I even start with awareness of OCD without living it?” First, let’s emphasize that OCD can show up for everyone a bit differently. It typically goes beyond what you’ve seen stereotypically - beyond “just being neat” or even repeated hand washing, although these aspects can show up as part of larger patterns. You might begin by reading into OCD and its subtypes on websites, such as the International OCD Foundation, NOCD, or even the Health in Tandem blog! Once you gather some basic information, consider approaching your loved one to inquire about specific information they’d like you to know about OCD, whether it be a specific subtype they struggle with that may be lesser known, or understanding how OCD can present in other areas of daily living. While you may not be able to enter into your loved ones experience directly, these areas of awareness can help both you and your loved one in this journey. 

Moving forward with awareness, let’s highlight 3 main categories of supportive actions that are accessible and avoid reinforcing OCD patterns:

  1. Listening without Judgement

Active listening, empathy, and non-judgement! When supporting a loved one with OCD, it can be hard to actively listen without wanting to find solutions or provide reassurance, but listening with empathy can provide a place your loved one can feel seen and heard. Avoid any use of minimization, dismissing, or joking about OCD experiences. Remember, some themes may seem irrational to someone without OCD (and even your loved one may know that!), but they feel extremely real for the person experiencing it. Keep an open mind in remembering that you don’t have to fully understand to listen and provide a safe space. 

  • Phrases to avoid: “Just let it go”; “You don’t need to worry about that”; “Just stop doing it”; “You must know that’s irrational”

  • Phrases to lean into: “That makes sense why that would be scary for you”; “I understand how difficult it is to let these thoughts go”; “I’m here to support you in anyway you need, even if you just need someone to listen”

2. Support without Encouraging Compulsions

In the context of OCD, support may also mean avoiding reinforcing the OCD cycle (intrusive thoughts - compulsions - distress - repeat). What might it look like to reinforce the OCD cycle? Things like offering repeated reassurance on a specific topic, participating in compulsions, and encouraging seeking external reassurance. When supporting a loved one with OCD, you might collaborate with your loved one on compassionate, yet supportive boundaries you all can set for their OCD recovery. Try to have these conversations outside of heightened OCD moments to get a clear picture of what feels supportive for your loved one. This goes to ensure you all have established boundaries set up, and your loved one has other tools, skills, and support to reach for in heightened moments besides excessive reassurance.

  • Things to avoid: Answering the same reassurance-seeking question over and over again.

  • Things to lean into: Validation, empathy, and encouragement of sitting with uncertainty. You may offer some comfort, like a hug, to sit with them, or engage in a distractive activity while they ride out the wave.

    3. Practical Everyday Support

OCD recovery really begins with the day-to-day. Depending on the context of your relationship with your loved one, your everyday support may vary. It could look like encouraging your loved one to seek professional support by gentle suggestion and supporting logistics. You and your loved one might also want to learn about OCD together, to open up meaningful conversations. It might look like encouraging and abiding by a helpful routine together that includes regular rest, balanced meals, hydration, and movement. Most of all, it is important to celebrate OCD wins and be patient during setbacks. OCD recovery is a journey, it is difficult, yet rewarding, and like anything worth doing, it’s normal to have setbacks. These should be met with empathy and understanding. 

This OCD awareness week, let’s emphasize that awareness comes best when it is followed by supportive action. Progress in bringing more light to OCD starts with everyday individuals. It’s normal to feel a variety of emotions as you watch your loved one’s OCD recovery journey, and you are also deserving of support. Let’s ensure individuals with OCD and their loved ones get proper support, one week at a time.

If you or someone you know is struggling with OCD, feel free to reach out to our team at Health in Tandem today.

Morgan CoblerOCD, contamination OCD, Counting OCD, Pedophilia OCD, Harm OCD, pure O OCD, Religious OCD, Relationship OCD, Checking OCD, health OCD, Magical Thinking OCD, Sexual Orientation OCD, supporting loved ones, social wellness, social support, social health, compulsions, obsessive compulsive disorder, obsessions, mental health, mental health and wellbeing, mental wellness, mental illness